New Blog

In light of the recent changes (no more restaurant and the reality check posted about below) I am starting a new blog. Check it out over at:

www.gabrihoney.blogspot.com

Change

I am the person I do not want to be.

First, I want to say that I am not the "picture of health"; not by any means. I have a good 40 lbs. to loose. I have had high blood pressure issues for the last 15 years and I dislike the thought of exercise (sweaty = gross).

Not long ago, I sat captivated by documentaries of people who are obese and bedridden. I wondered, who is bringing them all that unhealthy food and how can they live knowing they are helping this person do harm to themselves?

I just realized… I AM THAT PERSON!

As I type my thoughts, my husband is sleeping next to me. I should say he is sleeping and breathing on and off. He sleeps, deeply snores, and then stops breathing. I smack at him with a pillow, and he starts breathing again. My husband went to the doctor yesterday. His weight has gone well into the 300 lb. range. Through the night, I wake often as he frequently stops breathing. I know I am weird: the snoring lulls me to sleep, and the lack of it causes me to wake instantly. I shake him hard enough to start him breathing again and sometimes enough to ask him to put on his breathing mask, which he usually will not do. He is becoming dependent on my inability to sleep. He has lost all regard for his health. I will not sit around and do nothing about this anymore.

I do not like to nag him about his increasing weight. I tell myself it is because I don’t want him to think my love is conditional upon his weight. I think it’s an excuse - an easy out so I don’t have to deal with it.

At this point, my husband is still able to walk around, drive a car, and get around by himself, although at times it is very difficult for him. I’m asking myself, how long will this go on before he has a heart attack, is bedridden, or worse?

I have been a weakling.

I feed my children things they should not be eating because I do not want to hear the grief I get when setting healthier food before them. I do not discuss my husband’s current weight with him, as I do not want to stir up conflict. In the meantime, I put on my blinders and feed my family things that are creating addictions and causing potentially serious health issues for the future. Am I waiting for there to be a health crisis with one of my beloved family members?

I have come to the realization that I have a whole lot more control over this than I think I do. I can choose one of two options: grief now, or grief later.

I choose grief now.

I know this won’t be easy, but look where easy got me. I am bracing myself for the winds of change. I am making a plan of action.

Raw Soup

I am trying to stay away from sugars for the time being, so I decided to try a little Raw Soup in place of my usual morning green smoothie. This savory look-a-like ended up being better than I expected. In my Vitamix I blended:

Grape Tomatoes, about 1 ½ cups
Spinach, two heapin’ handfuls
Garlic, 1 tiny minced clove
Green Onion, 1
Celery Stalks, 2
Cilantro, sadly, I had none fresh, so I used 1 T dried - fresh would be sooo much better
Lime juice, from half a lime
Dulse Granules, ¾ t
Sea Salt, pinch or two
Cayenne Pepper, about 1/8 teaspoon
Stevia, powdered from a packet, about 1/3 of a packet
Warm Water, about 1 cup

I blended until it was smooth and warmed, but definitely not hot. I just pretended I was at a really good restaurant with really bad service. 

I'm Back

Okay, a lot of time has passed and a lot has happened since last posting.

Briefly, in September things went a little haywire at the restaurant and stress levels soared. We had to make a decision about closing our doors or trying to keep things going. The boys and I were exhausted. My heart was not in it. It was not the lifestyle (eating or otherwise) that I wanted for my family or myself. With the last wave of equipment failure and power loss (which resulted in food loss and loss of business), I felt like I was “kicking against the pricks”. It was time to close this chapter of our lives.

The pizza business is behind me. The family and I have been taking a few weeks to get life a little more back to normal (whatever that means). We have made trips to the zoo, had big family dinners, and kicked back on the couch and watched some movies. These simple activities at first felt like luxuries, as we were not able to indulge in them while we had the restaurant. Now it all feels like a natural part of our lives again. My family is precious to me. Life is good.

I stayed successfully raw until mid September. After that point, I ate more and more cooked food (although I stayed vegan). I do think a “whole foods” type of vegan diet has its benefits over a typical SAD diet. I feel better than when I ate animal products, but not as good as when I ate primarily raw food.

I am working my way towards more and more raw food. I joined the holiday challenge over at www.rawfu.com - the wonderful community Bunny Berry created. I strive to have at least one green smoothie a day, and two would be optimum. I am a person who “runs cold” when the weather gets chilly, so throughout the fall and winter I usually have a mug of (insert any hot beverage) glued to my right hand. If I want a cooked-vegan-whole-food dinner, I will have it. For now, I am not committing to 100% raw, just rawer.

I will not be sharing my food log, weight, and body measurements, but I will be posting more photos. For one, it is nice to have a face to place with the written words. In addition, I think it’s an easy way to keep track of how things are going physically. Am I tempted to obtain a frequent photo card at Glamour Shots? Absolutely! Instead, I will hand the camera over to my husband or one of my sons and let them click a few pictures. Maybe one day I will even learn how to put a video on my blog - my nine year old can probably show me how.

Day 30 - People are noticing

I thought I'd be better at keeping my blog up to date. I thought I would keep a daily food log and have all sorts of insightful things to say. Hmmmm... not the case.

I have eaten cooked food twice since starting this challenge. This last time I was uncomfortable afterwards. I did not like the overly full feeling I had. My husband and I went to one of our favorite restaurants; Ramsi's on the World. I had a wonderful salad of mixed field greens and flower petals with some cooked vegetables on top. I had some paratha bread and I could not resist the falafel. I am a "Falafel Freak" and Ramsi's has some of the best I've ever tasted. I had some brown rice pilaf and a few slices of potato. I had very small portions of everything but it was just way too much heavy, cooked food. Weeks ago I could have eaten so much more. It was tasty but probably not worth it.

A few people have commented that I look thinner. Being 12 pounds lighter feels good. I'm not a size smaller, but my jeans are fitting looser. My sister-in-law gave me a compliment yesterday. She said my skin was glowing. My mom agreed and said maybe there is something to this raw food diet.

(going to make some green juice now)

Test Results

Today is Day 4 of the Challenge. I am feeling tired, but okay.

I got my test results back - seems I am low in vitamin D and Anemic. My iron level is 13 and should be somewhere between 32 and 100, according to the doctor. She wants to take another test and monitor things. After three months on raw food, she will take another blood test to see if there is improvement. I am positive there will be.

Day 3
August 3, 2008

Felt so much lighter I couldn’t resist weighing myself. I can’t believe I lost six pounds already.

-Smoothie made with spinach, peach, banana, coconut and agave
-Eggless egg salad on celery sticks
-Dates (4)
-Salad: spinach, romaine, a piece of apple cut into small chunks, sunflower seeds, dressed with olive oil, apple cider vinegar, braggs, garlic and agave
-crab cakes (raw recipe without crab; from RFC ebook – very good)
-raisins, cashews and walnuts
-sun dried olives, very salty
-water, about 30 oz.

Day 2
Aug. 2, 2008

-Eggless egg salad on celery sticks - made from cashews, and tasty. I believe it’s from Heidi and JS Ohlander’s ebook, but I found the recipe through the Best of Raw Freedom Community ebook.
-Greenjuice (dino kale, celery, 1 lime, 2 apples - tried 1 yellow delicious but it wasn’t sweet enough)
-Banana
-Peach
-dried cantaloupe
-Water - didn’t measure and didn’t seem like enough

Kimba the White Kitten and Day 1 Summary

I have been a little preoccupied with a kitten we found last weekend. He was hit by a car and left in the middle of Nottingham Parkway. Poor guy was stunned, bleeding, and his little eyes were swollen shut. Emergency vet said he broke his chin and stitched him up. Since his nose was stopped up with dried blood, he wasn't able to smell, so he wasn't eating. Whenever possible, I syringed liquefied cat food down his gullet, which he was NOT happy about. Thursday night he began to sniff around and has been eating on his own (almost non stop) ever since. He is named after Kimba, The White Lion (my favorite cartoon when I was little). you tube video of Kimba the White Lion



Yesterday's food log...

Day 1
Aug. 1, 2008

-Small amount of water, squeeze of lemon with 1 scoop MSM powder
-Green juice made with 6 large dinosaur kale leaves, 6 stalks celery, 1 pink lady apple, 1 yellow delicious apple, 1 lemon – made 2.5 cups – it was delicious but a little too sweet. One apple should do it.
-Salad made with romaine, green pepper, mushroom, carrot, sunflower seeds with a little homemade dressing (olive oil, Bragg’s liquid aminos, agave nectar, garlic, and salt – didn't add the vinegar)
-small banana
-A Few Almonds
-32 oz. water
-More Almonds
-20 oz. water
-3 Almonds, 4 chunks of Cantaloupe, a few sips of water

I came in from work very late and was feeling hungry - that's when I grabbed the almonds, cantaloupe, and water, then went to bed. It's probably better to eat more during the day instead of right before bed, but we were so busy.

Today is Day 2. I woke up pretty hungry and with a slight headache. Can't wait to have my juice.

Raw Fu Eve

I went to the doctor yesterday to get some blood work done and get an accurate blood pressure reading and weight. I will share the test results when I get them back. I plan to schedule another visit and blood test soon after the 100 day challenge is over, and I can't wait to compare the two.

My doctor was very encouraging and wished me luck. But she did suggest getting a good supply of Beano - I'm hoping that I don't find that necessary.

Starting tomorrow, I will log what I consume each day, and once a week I will log whether I'm up or down weight-wise. I'll try to keep track of any detox symptoms, moods, or anything else that would seem noteworthy. I think it's important to have a record to look back on and see what is and isn't working as I go along.

Still haven't taken the before shots. I am dreading that.

Excited about tomorrow (Day 1). Stay tuned!

Rawganizing...

I want to make things as easy as possible, getting off on the best "raw foot" possible. I started cleaning out the fridge in order to get rawganized. I gathered all the little seeds and nuts stashed in different parts of the fridge and pantry like a foraging squirrel, and filled mason jars with all the goodness. I am going to have to stock up on a few items; sunflower seeds, almonds, some un-sulfured dried fruit, but I have a good supply to get me started. I will also need a few more jars and lids, and have some containers available for clean produce. I hear it’s good to have everything washed and available, so you don’t succumb junk.

Some other supplies I would like to get are nut milk bags and a few recipe books. I read something about using paint straining bags at Home Depot as they are cheaper than nut milk bags. Check out www.sunnyrawkitchen.blogspot.com for more details, some great information, and to download the e-book, “Best of Raw Freedom Community”. Lots and lots of information here.

I am also trying out some new recipes so I have a good foundation of reliables should I need to change things up. Penni Shelton (www.realfoodtulsa.blogspot.com) sent me a wonderful raw lasagna recipe that was incredibly delicious. Check out her blog; she is a creative foodie who is knowledgeable and inspiring. I can’t wait to try the Jalapeno Lime Tortilla Chips (see her blog for recipes and ideas). I’ll share other good resources as I find more.

Pre Challenge Fling

This morning we decided to try out a small, family-run, diner that one of our customers told me about recently. We are from NY, where family-run diners abound. We have lived in Louisville (also know as Land of Chain Restaurants) since 1989 and wondered if the menu was similar to what we remembered of the diners back east. I decided to put aside my raw intentions (while there was still some time before the challenge) and give it a go.

It was disappointing, to say the least.

I feel full yet unsatisfied. It’s strange, feeling full but not feeling nourished. I had a typical SAD (Standard American Diet) breakfast of eggs, potatoes, bacon, toast and coffee. I usually do not eat a breakfast like this, so why I felt the need to have it now could only be attributed to pre-challenge lust. I knew it wasn’t going to be nutritionally sound, but I thought it would at least taste good. Like, an Oreo isn’t good for me, but I still think it would taste good. Hopefully, that sentiment may one day change. My meal just wasn’t tasty and definitely not worth the digression. The more I think of it, the more unappealing it is (better stop thinking about it). And rationally speaking, even if it tasted good, it wouldn’t have been worth it health-wise.

I miss my usual breakfast of freshly juiced kale, celery, apple, and lemon. It sounds strange, but it’s really good and very energizing. I actually crave more greens the more I drink them. My daily juices are getting greener and greener as I progressively add more kale leaves. Throughout the morning and early afternoon, I eat fresh fruit and cut up raw veggies (organic cukes with the skins are my current favorite). Then it usually goes downhill from late afternoon on. I get busy at the restaurant and end up famished. Being around the smells and the food we prepare is difficult. Well, not wanting to focus on that right now, joining the Rawfu challenge will help me stay focused on what I want to do. Letting you all in on what I’m trying to accomplish will help, too.

I feel like one betrothed who has taken part in a series of pre-wedding flings… a morning of promiscuous eating, an afternoon of forbidden snacking…

I guess with food, it’s just as unfulfilling.

raw food challenge

View my page on Raw Fu

Raw Food Challenge

I will be starting a 100 Day Raw Food Challenge on August 1, 2008 with Rawfu. I am joining this group challenge (and also letting family and friends in on it) for accountability/support purposes. So far, my husband and a few friends have shown interest in joining me in this challenge. For information, check out bunnyberry at bunnyberry.blogspot.com. Many thanks to Beth for putting this together.